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Java Programming [Archive] - Is the net slow today or is it just me?
This topic has 11 replies on 1 page.

Posts:153
Registered: 7/3/03
Is the net slow today or is it just me?  
Aug 4, 2004 5:58 AM



 
Hi,

Completely off the topic, however today even Google home page takes 10 - 30 seconds to load on a cable connection(normally about 500 kb/sec). Is anyone else having this trouble, and does anyone know why?

Michael
 

Posts:24,036
Registered: 2/3/03
Re: Is the net slow today or is it just me?  
Aug 4, 2004 6:07 AM (reply 1 of 11)



 
It's just you. ;o)

Beat your neighbors about the face and shoulders with a rubber chicken for sucking up your bandwidth.
 

Posts:24,036
Registered: 2/3/03
Re: Is the net slow today or is it just me?  
Aug 4, 2004 6:13 AM (reply 2 of 11)



 
On a more serious note, you may be experiencing the residual effects of MyDoom, Zafi, or another among a host of new virus/worms to be creeping about the net. As I understand, MyDoom-O beat the tar out of Google recently. I'm not currently having any problems accessing them, though...
 

Posts:1,652
Registered: 8/4/03
Re: Is the net slow today or is it just me?  
Aug 4, 2004 6:30 AM (reply 3 of 11)



 
Actually, the net's not slow, it's just that all of us here have conspired against you. Yes you in particular. No you don't need to know why we did it it's just the kind of people we are. Secret code has been installed on your systems that will transfer your bandwidth to those of us more able to put it to good use. In addition, every time you type a key it transfers $.01 to an offshore numbered account that only a select few of us have access to so even as you are typing your response to this message your personal income is being diverted to our purposes.

Why am I telling you this? Because there's nothing you can do to stop it. Our agents are on their way to deal with you now. Don't try to resist them it wouldn't do you any good any way. Thank you and have a nice day.

If you've read this far I hope that you have figured out that this entire post is meant to be humorous. If you do not realize that then I seriously recommend that you seek professional help.

buh bye ...

 

Posts:11,200
Registered: 7/22/99
Re: Is the net slow today or is it just me?  
Aug 4, 2004 6:35 AM (reply 4 of 11)



 
Does it smell funny today or is it just me?
 

Posts:4,496
Registered: 19/06/02
Re: Is the net slow today or is it just me?  
Aug 4, 2004 6:39 AM (reply 5 of 11)



 
Does it smell funny today or is it just me?

I thought it was just that vindaloo I had last night, but now that you mention it ...
 

Posts:668
Registered: 9/2/03
Re: Is the net slow today or is it just me?  
Aug 4, 2004 7:10 AM (reply 6 of 11)



 
I don't like creamed corn.
 

Posts:153
Registered: 7/3/03
It's just me!  
Aug 4, 2004 7:46 AM (reply 7 of 11)



 
Jesus, Mary and Jozef! I'm alone! I knew I shouldn't have bought that green BIOS.
 

Posts:242
Registered: 11/11/02
Re: Is the net slow today or is it just me?  
Aug 4, 2004 7:47 AM (reply 8 of 11)



 
I don't like creamed corn.

Me neither, but sweet corn on the other hand...
 

Posts:14,142
Registered: 99-04-02
Re: Is the net slow today or is it just me?  
Aug 4, 2004 7:53 AM (reply 9 of 11)



 
<ralph>When I grow up, I want to be a firetruck. Woooo, wooooo!</ralph>
 

Posts:31,095
Registered: 4/30/99
Re: Is the net slow today or is it just me?  
Aug 4, 2004 8:01 AM (reply 10 of 11)



 
Does it smell funny today or is it just me?

No, it's just you that smells funny.
 

Posts:783
Registered: 10/18/01
Re: Is the net slow today or is it just me?  
Aug 4, 2004 8:06 AM (reply 11 of 11)



 
What you need to do is make sure that your chair isn't resting on your network cable. It may have ballooned up like a cartoon hose pipe. Gently take the chair off the wire, and watch as all that data hits your browser.
 
This topic has 11 replies on 1 page.